A. Kevin Quotes

I'm never gonna step away from stand-up. I can't. That's what got me where I am, and that's also my muse. That's how I stay level-headed. That's what keeps me going.

Because I'm small, I've been called things from 'Happy Feet' to 'Little Face.'

All I can do is try to create my own brand and have people appreciate me for that.

Barbra Streisand has accomplished so much, and Dustin Hoffman as well. They are down to earth and approachable. I admire that.

I'm a whopping 5 foot 4 inches tall. I'm not going to get any taller.

Dialogue means debates and everyone's point of view.

Expect me to continue what I've been doing, which is trying to take over the world.

For me, the way I stay consistent is through stand-up comedy.

I'm not a good storm-outer... because I forget stuff.

I took my daughter to the father-daughter dance and I cried like a little baby. She's 11 years old, so seeing her get dressed up and pretty made me cry.

The beauty of me being on stage is I have a voice.

My daughter has impressions that she does of me.

The thing about impressing your girlfriend is that when you do something like a private island in Fiji, it's all downhill from that point.

You do projects with the hope they will be big and hope they will go beyond what you imagine.

You see some of the weirdest people in Detroit casinos.

Really, I don't like roller coasters.

I'm not Russell Crowe. I'm not going to do a period piece.

I've been known to preach.

I've done auditions where the casting director is taking the paper out of my hand in the middle of reading.

In acting, you have to pull from real-life situations, from people, to help develop a character.

In comedy, my strengths are improvisation.

It's very rare that you get a director that lets you be creative and bring what you feel your character should do or should be.

My goal is to make everyone and anyone a fan.

My kids are the funniest two human beings there are.

People don't want to hear about me having leather walls or gold toilets.

This Reese's Chevrolet was downright awesome.

Money and fame? I never had it, don't really know if I want it.

Just a huge credit goes to the GM Goodwrench team and all my teammates that went before me. It's been a good weekend for us so far and hopefully we can put it all together tomorrow night.

I'm gonna have nightmares about kids eating free.

The hardest part is keeping yourself even keel across the board. You have to keep a balance until you get to Sunday and understand what goes with the week.

You have to have something to lean on when you have more than one team. I don't really agree with making the move four weeks before the Chase. That's not how I would have done it.

We've got a third, first and a pole; I don't think you could ask for much more than that. Hopefully we can finish it off [tonight].

The point is, Mrs. MacDonagh, that the universe is exactly the size that your soul can encompass. Some people live in extremely small worlds, and some live in a world of infinite possibility.

Depression is a prison to which you have the key except you never think to look for it.

I had my own dump truck of bad karma waiting for me somewhere ahwad. I had certainly earned it, but I raced to avoid it if I could; there was no way I wanted to fell that.

its difficult to dislike a man who takes pleasure in giving away free beer.

They'll have to bring in Mulder an' Scully, because there ain't no CSI on the planet that'll ever be able to explain this.

Gods can screw anything and anybody. For reference, see history. Atticus O'Sullivan

Bring it,muthafuckas.Bring it.

There is always a price to pay for badassery. Neo was a badass in the Matrix and the Matrix Reloaded, but the price he had to pay was The Matrix Revolutions.

Mr. Tall, Blonde and Lightning

That's right, there's free beer in Irish paradise. Everyone's jealous.

Well o' course she's feelin' dandy! She's the mother o' God for the love o' Pete!

I tend to vacillate between belief systems. Right now I'm kind of checking out the whole buffet, you know, and maybe in a little while I'll decide on what I want to put on my plate and chow down on.

Sweet Honey of Dagda, now I was babbling.

You will respect my authori-tah!' Oberon said, in a passable imitation of Eric Cartman. I reminded him that I needed to concentrate. Sometimes dogs forget; they just get too excited.

But now that she was my apprentice, every such thought caused a guilty twitch in my neck, as if someone had dropped a sleek, stinky ferret there. Guilt ferrets are bastards.

On a Creep Scale from Hello Kitty to Cthulhu, I award it a Freddy Krueger. Granuaile MacTiernan

What do you know? She liked to be told she was scary. Kinky.

Anyone who's ever tried to tangle with a teddy bear cholla knows there's a whole lot more bear than teddy to it.