Worse than telling a lie is spending the rest of your life staying true to a lie.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie.

You can spend too much time wondering which of identical twins is the more alike.

What greater blessing to give thanks for at a family gathering than the family and the gathering.

Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?

If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that "Members not Present" and "Subjects Discussed" were one and the same.

It finally happened. I got the GPS lady so confused, she said, "In one-quarter mile, make a legal stop and ask directions.

For the most part, we carnivores do not eat other carnivores. We prefer to eat our vegetarian friends.

On a windswept hill by a billowing sea, my destiny sits and waits for me.

It is not that love is blind. It is that love sees with a painter's eye, finding the essence that renders all else background.

It's the curse of motherhood. You're required to love us even when we vex you.

Made a decision. I will never let a sunny day happen without me again. Darkness is almost always guaranteed unless some strange thing happens. But the sun...?! Go get some.

Good taste, the last and vilest of human superstitions, has succeeded in silencing us where all the rest has failed.

Sometimes a smile is all that is needed to change a person’s day and it cost me nothing to give.

My growing collection of facts keeps overlapping with my life.

Sometimes failure isn't an opportunity in disguise, it's just you.

I feel incompetent to perform duties...which have been so unexpectedly thrown upon me.

Some of the stuff I get the scripts for, I read it and I'm like, "Wow." We're doing some crazy stuff on this show [Legends of Tommorow]. it's going to be amazing.

I strain to hear, but my old ears, for all their obscene hugeness, pick up nothing but snippets.

Americans try to talk about positive family values, although the actual state of things is disastrous.