Worse, I have to admit to feeling the jealousy of one crab for another that has managed to climb out of the barrel.

At the risk of appearing disingenuous, I don't really think of myself as 'writing humor.' I'm simply reporting on the world I observe, which is frequently hilarious.

And there comes a time in your life when you realize that if you don't take the opportunity to be happy, you may never get another chance again.

People sometimes get in the habit of being loyal to a mistake.

You use simple brushstrokes in a screenplay for things over which you would take much greater pains in a novel.

Have you ever noticed that when people use the expression 'I have to say', what follows usually needn't be said?

What if all everybody needed in the world was to be sure of one friend? What if you were the one, and you refused to say those simple words?

My books are elegiac in the sense that they're odes to a nation that even I sometimes think may not exist anymore except in my memory and my imagination.

Bookstores, like libraries, are the physical manifestation of the wide world's longest, most thrilling conversation.

I was the one who did come through that door. You were the one she was waiting for.

Go to it. Be bold. Be true. Be kind. Rotate your tires. Don't drink so much. There aren't going to be enough liver transplants to go around.

Some secrets are heavy because they aren't yours to tell.

Whenever I meet someone new, I always ask the same question... 'So, what do you do?

We are not at the center of ourselves, but instead - like the Earth in the Milky Way, and the Milky Way in the universe - far out on a distant edge, hearing little of what is transpiring.

He knows what He is doing with me. I cannot always understand His way, but I am content in the realization that He knows what is best. That is surrender.

If you want to dry hump someone you don't know, just act like they were choking.

[On newspapers:] A first draft of history.

I don't have to edit myself. I get to be me, warts and all, and that's ultimately what people want, and to trust each other implicitly.

Success is one thing, impact is another

If the happiness of the mass of mankind can be secured at the expense of a little tempest now and then, or even of a little blood, it will be a precious purchase.

I can never stand still. I must explore and experiment.