Women!” he muttered. “Can't live with 'em, can't escape even by killing 'em.

New Rule #1 – Don't date women who paint. Arty-farty doesn't just equal freaky in the sack, it also equals nasty genius revenge. I don't like genius when it's happening to me.

And have your mother put my head on a stake? Do you have any notion what that would do to my handsome good looks?

There are many things in this life one can plan for, anticipate, control, manipulate, but love is not one of them.

There is a cost to loving anything, or anyone. No one tells you that when you are young.

Business success contains the seeds of its destruction.

The Union is much older than the Constitution. It was formed in fact, by the Articles of Association in 1774. It was matured and continued by the Declaration of Independence in 1776.

There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works. Will Rogers The reason that there are so few women comics is that so few women can bear being laughed at.

I'm not that interested in fashion... When someone says that lime-green is the new black for this season, you just want to tell them to get a life.

My sophomore year I spent exactly one day on the JV football team. It was the tryout day.

In too deep to see the diamond, down too dark to see the gold. Now he won't let go of the shovel, and he cannot dig out of the hole.

Eyes on the forest, not on the trees.