When I was governor, if I told a joke in front of the press - I learned. I would go, "That was a joke, joke, joke," and I'd say it three times.

If you were to come to Minnesota, I could have you locked up like that. That's power.

I love my country, not my government.

When I ran for governor of Minnesota, I only raised $300,000.

Organized religion is a sham and a crutch for weak-minded people

Patriotism to your country is something that comes from your heart. It should be taught to you by your parents.

If you tell the truth, you don't need a long memory.

Organized religion is a sham and a crutch for weak-minded people who need strength in numbers. It tells people to go out and stick their noses in other people's business.

A vote is "wasted" when someone fails to vote their conscience.

A hero must be honorable, must have honor. And you can't have honor if you're a liar. There is no honor in lying.

There is much more to being a patriot and a citizen than reciting the pledge or raising a flag.

Far from marking the end of nationalism, the IPL is the ultimate triumph of that principle: a global tournament in which the same nation always wins.

I'm fourteen years old; that's almost half-way to thirty. I need my own space.

After 13 years, I couldn't accept to be number two.

The volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases.

When I wrote 'Marley & Me,' I had a clear audience in mind. And it did not include children. I wrote my book for adults and assumed only adults, and possibly teenagers, would be drawn to it.

As in laws or in war, the longest purse finally wins.

I think that, as life is action and passion, it is required of a man that he should share the passion and action of his time at peril of being judged not to have lived.

A good solo is like a book. It will start out in a phrase, it will go on in paragraphs, and then it will have a great ending.

I lived in a world where I didn't share the love for my stepfather that my mother shared for him. She married him.

Mercutio: "If love be rough with you, be rough with love.