Whats the worst that could happen?! The worst that could happen is he could cut off your legs and use them to make stilts that look like legs!

I just didn’t want to be pigeonholed as an 'ethnic comic' or an 'Asian comic.' I just wanted to be on the same playing field as everyone else.

Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot.

I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment.

I like going out and I like being single, but a growing part of me would rather just stay home, cook food with someone I really like, and do nothing.

Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired.

Do you realize how much better the world would be if we all just treated each other the same way black dudes treat magicians?

I spend so much time on the Internet...I feel like I'm a million pages into the worst book ever, and I'm never going to stop reading.

One of the big things I miss about New York is not my friends so much; it's Shake Shack, the burger place. I miss Shake Shack.

You’re a feminist if you go to a Jay Z and Beyoncé concert, and you’re not like, ‘Mmm, I feel like Beyoncé should get 23 percent less money than Jay Z'.

I have never taken the high road, but I tell other people to 'cause then there's more room for me on the low road.

wesat theresmokingcigarettesat5in the morning.

I lost myself in finding you, nothing has made me feel so wasted ever.

Me and Woody Harrelson, we're twins. We're the same person. I should only make movies with him.

You don't have to live in a garage to write great poetry.

Every venture capitalist says at some point, 'I wish I could run this company myself' -- to be the entrepreneur instead of the investor.

Woman has this in common with angels, that suffering beings belong especially to her.

I'm one of those people who sees Frank Zappa in a cup of coffee, or elephants wrestling in clouds. But also, conscious creation of all kinds moves me.

Earth has waited for them, All the time of their growth Fretting for their decay: Now she has them at last.

Love is a sudden revelation: a kiss is always a discovery