We've got this weird dysgenic situation where we're basically just paying idiots to breed and taxing intelligent people to stay away from each other with anything remotely resembling fertility.

The law is an opinion with a gun.

The whole point of the system is to bribe you with the leftovers of what they have stolen from you in the first place.

The only part of you that hurts when you're given the truth is the part that lives on lies.

If you can't share what's important to you with the people around you, then you have no relationships. It's all just proximity, and turkey, and sports, and weather, and bullshit.

The war on drugs is really the war on people who buy drugs from people who don't lobby the government.

It's not just the abuse of power that's the problem. It's the power to abuse.

When poverty declines, the need for government declines, which is why expecting government to solve poverty is like expecting a tobacco company to mount an aggressive anti-smoking campaign.

We raise predators by treating children as prey.

Democracy is the suggestion box for slaves.

The continual manufacture of enemies is essential to the growth of the fascist state.

I capture women. I break them down. And I rebuild them. And I am not a good man.

The preservation of health is a duty. Few seem conscious that there is such a thing as physical morality.

Only very intelligent people don't wish they were in politics, and I'm dumb enough to want to be in there.

It sounds gross to say that I like myself more. But not everyone likes themselves that much. Especially in the comedy world.

A marvelous thing it would be to stand with confidence, unafraid, unashamed, and unembarrassed in the presence of God.

A photographer is an acrobat treading the high wire of chance, trying to capture shooting stars.

We do not have a debt crisis right now, but we see it coming. We know it's irrefutably happening. And the point we're trying to make with our budget is let's get ahead of this problem.

Never let anyone or any social attitude stand in the way of your productivity.

I don't write songs, songs write me.

Mankind grows taller, older, and ever more wise; but seldom truly up.