We can't run. We can't pass. We can't stop the run. We can't stop the pass. We can't kick. Other than that, we're just not a very good football team right now.

The era of the rugged individual is giving way to the era of the team player.

Everyone is needed, but no one is necessary.

I don't know what he has. A pulled groin. A hip flexor. I don't know. A pulled something. I never pulled anything. You can't pull fat.

Death paused. YOU HAVE PERHAPS HEARD THE PHRASE, he said, THAT HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE?‘Yes. Yes, of course.’Death nodded. IN TIME, he said, YOU WILL LEARN THAT IT IS WRONG.

Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can.

I watch so much TV, it's sad. I watch 'Happy Endings', '30 Rock', 'Parks and Rec', 'The Office', 'Eagleheart', 'Children's Hospital'. 'Modern Family' I guess I'm still kinda watching.

Sometimes it's easier to understand things than it is to figure them out

For every fresh stage in our lives we need a fresh education, and there is no stage for which so little educational preparation is made as that which follows the reproductive period.

I speak English, Portuguese, and French. One day I'd love to learn Italian.

Banking was conceived in iniquity and born in sin.

The tipping point is that magic moment when an idea, trend, or social behavior crosses a threshold, tips, and spreads like wildfire.

A fetish is a story masquerading as an object.

The good thing about coming over to the UK is that I can get some rest.