We all tell our stories the way we want to. And sometimes those stories have nothing to do with reality.

Hats, like first husbands in my experience, are usually a mistake.

We take creative license with the fictional narratives that become our memories. Anthologized, these are the tales that become the story of your life.

Middle Tennessee? Really? My bracket is more busted than Screech's face during puberty.

I prefer the company of peasants because they have not been educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly.

Stop rationalizing, stop stewing. Get up out of your chair and start doing.

I always find Victoria's Secret models a bit weird.

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.

Disruptors don't have to discover something new; they just have to discover a practical use for new discoveries.

Calculators can only calculate - they cannot do mathematics.

Children have no reasonable assumption of privacy while they are minors in their parent's home.

One of the main goals of self-education is to eradicate that vanity in us without which we would never have been educated.

Well, there's no question that a good script is an absolutely essential, maybe the essential thing for a movie.