To me, the [British] Open is the tournament I would come to if I had to leave a month before and swim over.

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

Pressure is playing for ten dollars when you don't have a dime in your pocket.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.

The older I get, the better I used to be.

You're Mexican until you make money and then you're Spanish.

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.

Coaches and ownership are just like the fans on the street. They can always do it better, and they would always have done it differently when it doesn't work out.

My taste tends to skew a little bit towards the more feminine. Monique Lhuillier, Oscar de la Renta. Some of his wedding dresses in particular have been spectacular.

If you want to be around people who are positive and enthusiastic and eager to live life, your attitude has to be the same.

Sad thing is, you can still love someone and be wrong for them.

I don't have the patience to sit and write.

Whilst that the childe is young, let him be instructed in vertue and lytterature.

Shoes are the first adult machines we are given to master.

Justice is no longer a concern of the justice system.

I'd really like to change the world and save it from the mess it's in. I'm so weak, I'm so thin, I want to fly, but I can't even swim.

That liberty [is pure] which is to go to all, and not to the few or the rich alone.