There was a small boy of Quebec Who was buried in snow to the neck: When they said 'Are you friz?' He replied 'Yes I is - But we don't call this cold in Quebec!'

Beware of overconcern for money, or position, or glory. Someday you will meet a man who cares for none of these things. Then you will know how poor you are.

I keep six honest serving men (they taught me all i knew); Theirs names are What and Why and When And How And Where and Who.

A man can never have too much red wine, too many books, or too much ammunition

Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears.

This is a brief life, but in its brevity it offers us some splendid moments, some meaningful adventures.

If you can keep your wits about you while all others are losing theirs, and blaming you. The world will be yours and everything in it, what's more, you'll be a man, my son.

I am by nature a dealer in words, and words are the most powerful drug known to humanity.

The silliest woman can manage a clever man; but it needs a very clever woman to manage a fool.

There is no sin so great as ignorance. Remember this.

Never look backwards or you'll fall down the stairs.

We do not trust educated people and rarely, alas, produce them, for we do not trust the independence of mind which alone makes a genuine education possible.

Pleasure and Pain participate equally in moulding character.

My dad knows how to tell a story. He'd make me laugh by doing all the different voices.

I'm certainly driven, I hate losing, I can be ruthless and short-tempered and terribly competitive.

I'm not looking for sympathy, just understanding.

It's very difficult once you've been on telly because people know what you do. They give you a little bit of grace but then they're harsher if you're not funny, so you have to be funny.

After having won a scepter, few are so generous as to disdain the pleasures of ruling.

This one man dynasty has only just begun.

The first movie I saw - and I don't know if it influenced me - was Ben Hur. We watched it outside in a corn field, and it ran backwards. So the first movie I ever saw was Ben Hur, backwards.

Never go to sleep without a request to your subconscious.