The past isn't useful until its place in the present is found.

So often I heard people paying blind obeisance to change - as though it had some virtue of its own. Change or we will die. Change or we will stagnate. Evergreens don't stagnate.

Some people spend their lives failing and never notice.

Reality can easily become the current fantasy.

That's the New York thing, isn't it. People who seem absolutely crazy going around telling you how crazy they used to be before they had therapy.

A lie was something that hadn't happened but might just as well have.

He always said she was smart, but their conversations were a mined field in which at any moment she might make the wrong verbal move and find her ignorance exploding in her face.

My first book took five years to write and I made $1,000 on it. The second took three years and I made $3,000. All this time I was a housewife being supported by a husband. I was very lucky.

It's astonishing what some women will put up with just to have a warm body. Some of the brightest women I know are just obsessed with that search. It's very sad.

Love is the direct opposite of hate. By definition it's something you can't feel for more than a few minutes at a time, so what's all this bullshit about loving somebody for the rest of your life?

It takes far less courage to kill yourself than it takes to wake up one more time. It is harder to stay where you are than to get out.

A fool's paradise is a wise man's hell.

I slump in my chair, thinking how a narcotic party of one is no party at all.

If this is Heaven, I am in big trouble.

Take care what words you speak that follow “I am.” In so speaking you create your life.

There's nothing better for a comedian than adversity.

Both success and failure are largely the results of HABIT!

There is a sort of camaraderie that rarely exists except between men who have fought the same enemies and know the same women.

Caution: These verses may be hazardous to your solemnity.

My doctor says, 'You've got one of the hardest ones to treat because it's not bipolar, it's not up and down, you're always just about a quart low in the mood department.

These people were well dressed in skins, had some guns, but armed generally with bows and arrows and such other instruments of war as are common among the Indians of the Missouri.