The media is one rather than a series of different entities that are competing against each other.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

I have a new nickname for Dottie. She's now the Crazy Whisperer.

If I could mark clearly, convincingly and consistently what was good for me and also what was bad—if I could say yes and also no, as if it were the law—it would become my law.

The world neither ever saw, nor ever will see, a perfectly fair lottery.

One may like the love and despise the lover.

It is well sometimes to half understand a poem in the same manner that we half understand the world.

The jokes were perfect! Then George Carlin started talking about the seven dirty words you can't say on television, then it evolved into social commentary.

It is straightforward — and never mind, for now, about plagues and famines: if God existed, and if he cared for humankind, he would never have given us religion.

Some of the worst elements of Guyland rest on the twin pillars of men's silence and women's compliance.

I try to end every chapter with an air of suspense. I try to leave the reader wanting to turn the page.

Believe you can do it and you are halfway there