The difference between a politician and a pickpocket is that a pickpocket doesn't always get indignant when you tell him to keep his hands to himself.

Politicians never accuse you of 'greed' for wanting other people's money - only for wanting to keep your own money.

War is just one more big government program.

Destroying white civilization is the inmost desire of the league of designated victims we call minorities.

An anti-Semite used to mean a man who hated Jews. Now it means a man who is hated by Jews.

Because the state can no longer protect us from crime, it wants to take away from us the means of protecting ourselves. This is the logic of gun control.

Need' now means wanting someone else's money. 'Greed' means wanting to keep your own. 'Compassion' is when a politician arranges the transfer.

Most Americans aren't the sort of citizens the Founding Fathers expected; they are contented serfs. Far from being active critics of government, they assume that its might makes it right.

In 100 years we have gone from teaching Latin and Greek in High School to teaching remedial English in college.

The measure of the state's success is that the word anarchy frightens people, while the word state does not.

The purpose of a college education is to give you the correct view of minorities, and the means to live as far away from them as possible.

Tears never were worth the effort of crying them.

Good times come and go. And bad times do the same.

I'm not on drugs, I'm just weird.

There's not much practical Christianity in the man who lives on better terms with angels and seraphs than with his children, servants and neighbours.

For a love to grow through the test of everyday living, one must respect that zone of privacy where one retires to relate to the inside instead of the outside.

To double your successes, you might have to double your failure rate.

I get called all kinds of things - an investigative comedian, a comedian activist - I've lost track of what my job title is.

I think that we need to make it our goal to define freedom for ourselves.

Never worry about theory as long as the machinery does what it's supposed to do.

I only did my duty to my country when I tried to oppose the criminal folly of Hitler.