The United States deserves nothing but love and adoration and gold medals left and right and peace prizes left and right, things we never get.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

There are lots of reasons why a woman stays with a man, even when she's given up on changing him and can predict with certainty the shape that the rest of her life with him is going to take.

I found it hard to get motivated because I found it hard to care.

Courage becomes a worthwhile and meaningful virtue when it is regarded not so much as a willingness to die manfully but as a determination to live decently.

Love is blind friendship closes its eyes.

Music fills the infinite between two souls.

Our society's strong emphasis on dieting and self-image can sometimes lead to eating disorders. We know that more than 5 million Americans suffer from eating disorders, most of them young women.

Songs are usually unfit for whistling - indeed, whistling (except to the person doing it) is unbearable.

It's so sweet, I feel like my teeth are rotting when I listen to the radio.

I consider the coke a major cause. Of course, you could also make the argument that because cocaine speeds up the heart, it's good for you.

The punches came fast and hard, lying on my back in the school yard.