So often, we think we can guess our destiny. We're so certain we know what it looks like that we forget to open ourselves up to the pleasure of surprise.

Sometimes just the affirmation that a situation sucks can turn a mood around and inspire strength and optimism.

My mom and my father's birthday are on the same day.

Envy blinds men and makes it impossible for them to think clearly.

There are old mycologists and there are bold mycologists, but there are no old, bold mycologists.

There’s a reason I hate jigsaw puzzles. I don’t have the patience to find all the border pieces, especially when they’re all the same shade of gray.

The irresponsible rhetoric of Barack Obama, who has used the pulpit of the presidency to divide us by race and color, has made America a more dangerous environment than frankly I have ever seen.

Baseball is more than a game. It's like life played out on a field.

There is no sin so prevalent, so insidious, and so deep as the sin of fearing people more than we fear God.

As for literature, thefts cannot harm it, while the lapse of ages augments its value

I don't want to speak to two empty chairs.

I often fake my death and then just show up at people's houses. They say 'that's a good one Thom' but I know maybe they don't really think it's a funny joke.