Safer to be feared than loved.

I have a meanness inside me, real as an organ. Slit me at my belly and it might slide out, meaty and dark, drop on the floor so you could stomp on it.

Friends see most of each other’s flaws. Spouses see every awful last bit.

Dark sides are important. They should be nurtured like nasty black orchids.

The face you give the world tells the world how to treat you.

Love makes you want to be a better man. But maybe love, real love, also gives you permission to just be the man you are.

My mother had always told her kids: if you're about to do something, and you want to know if it's a bad idea, imagine seeing it printed in the paper for all the world to see.

I was not a lovable child, and I'd grown into a deeply unlovable adult. Draw a picture of my soul, and it'd be a scribble with fangs.

They always call depression the blues, but I would have been happy to waken to a periwinkle outlook. Depression to me is urine yellow, washed out, exhausted miles of weak piss.

Sleep is like a cat: It only comes to you if you ignore it.

Ironic people always dissolve when confronted with earnestness, it's their kryptonite

You know how you let yourself think that everything will be alright if you can only go to certain place or do a certain thing. But when you get there you find it's not that simple.

Thanksgiving is an attitude that must be rooted in the ‘gift of life’ if we ever hope to be thankful for the ‘gifts’ of life.

Without religion, I believe that learning does real mischief to the morals and principles of mankind.

The U.S. constitution is an extraordinary document. In my view, it should not be amended often.

Golf is recognized as one of the more difficult games to play or teach. One reason for this is that each person necessarily plays by feel, and a feel is almost impossible to describe.

That love which does not build a foundation on good sense is doomed.

Toys "R" Us. Zack put on a wool cap and sunglasses. "You look like a bank robber," I observed. "No toy is safe.

Smile and maybe tomorrow you'll see that life is still worth while if you just smile

The biggest problem with working at a treadmill desk: the compulsion to announce constantly that you are working at a treadmill desk.

I have to come out of the closet of the third person and speak in a more direct way.