No one's trying to get with jugglers.

I just didn’t want to be pigeonholed as an 'ethnic comic' or an 'Asian comic.' I just wanted to be on the same playing field as everyone else.

Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot.

I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment.

I like going out and I like being single, but a growing part of me would rather just stay home, cook food with someone I really like, and do nothing.

Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired.

Do you realize how much better the world would be if we all just treated each other the same way black dudes treat magicians?

I spend so much time on the Internet...I feel like I'm a million pages into the worst book ever, and I'm never going to stop reading.

One of the big things I miss about New York is not my friends so much; it's Shake Shack, the burger place. I miss Shake Shack.

You’re a feminist if you go to a Jay Z and Beyoncé concert, and you’re not like, ‘Mmm, I feel like Beyoncé should get 23 percent less money than Jay Z'.

I have never taken the high road, but I tell other people to 'cause then there's more room for me on the low road.

The fourth gift is Compassion. May you be gentle with yourself and others. May you forgive those who hurt you and yourself when you make mistakes.

The searchlight of [God’s] Spirit will probe the inner depths of your soul and reveal things that you think you have already yielded, but you have not.

You can't have freedom of religion with a religion that hates freedom!

Faith, hope, love, and insight are the highest achievements of human effort. They are found-given-by experience.

Yesterday, the country of Kosovo unveiled an 11-foot tall statue of former President Clinton. Yeah. That's right. The Clinton statue is so life-like, it's already been slapped 12 times.

Each man's death is fated from the beginning of time.

The United States tax system today is very prejudiced towards financialization, leverage, and lack of investment.

For me, I think that I don't like feeling pressure from outside sources. I'd rather put the pressure on myself and push myself to do it as good as I can.

I was raped. That was a hard thing to write about. I never owned that part of it. Guys don't look at themselves as being raped. We're not raised that way.

The vanities of all others may gradually die out, but the vanity of a saint regarding his sainthood is hard indeed to wear away.