Masturbation is not the happiest form of sexuality, but the most advisable for him who wants to be alone and think.

The function of law and theology are the same: to keep the poor from taking back by violence what the rich have stolen by cunning.

The fear of death is the beginning of slavery.

You should view the world as a conspiracy run by a very closely-knit group of nearly omnipotent people, and you should think of those people as yourself and your friends.

You are precisely as big as what you love and precisely as small as what you allow to annoy you.

In conlusion, there is no conclusion. Things will go on as they always have, getting weirder all the time.

The rapists of the intellectual world become politicians; the seducers become artists.

Philadelphia merely seems dull because it's next to exciting Camden, New Jersey.

Of course I'm crazy, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong.

History, sociology, economics, psychology et al. confirmed Joyce's view of Everyman as victim.

My own opinion is that belief is the death of intelligence. As soon as one believes a doctrine of any sort, or assumes certitude, one stops thinking about that aspect of existence.

I am a mother, so I'm used to balancing things.

I think that Florida, Ohio, Michigan, Pennsylvania, all those states actually look pretty good for Hillary Clinton.

There was no one in particular I really tried to copy.

Avoid him who talks sweetly before you but tries to ruin you behind your back, for he is like a pitcher of poison with milk on top.

I grew up in a fundamentalist protestant family that stressed that we were a select people and so we were to avoid contact with others who did not share our faith.

If my mother hadn't tried to sell me chicken Kiev cutlets for $1.40 after I graduated from college, maybe I would've been the lawyer she wanted me to be.

Puritanism was an honourable mood; it was a noble fad. In other words, it was a highly creditable mistake.

She wanted to die, but she also wanted to live in Paris.

The head has the most beautiful appearance, as well as the highest station, in a human figure.

Better Dancing makes Better Lovers