Life is a matter of passing the time enjoyably. There may be other things in life, but I've been too busy passing my time enjoyably to think very deeply about them.

I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly

As I looked out into the night sky, across all those infinite stars, it made me realize how insignificant they are.

One of the ways to avoid being beaten by the system is to laugh at it.

I am blind -- but I am able to read thanks to a wonderful new system known as 'broil' . . . I'm sorry, I'll just feel that again.

You realize that suicide's a criminal offense. In less enlightened times they'd have hung you for it.

Now I tell you the downside of this is you feel awful, but the upside is you feel terrific.

If there's one thing I can't bear, it's when hundreds of old men come creeping in through the window in the middle of the night and throw all manner of garbage over me. I can't bear that.

Everything I've ever told you, including this, is a lie.

I went to the University of Life and was chucked out.

We exchanged many frank words in our respective languages.

I've always loved fantasy. I think it's a great way to look at issues that we have in our own lives with a little bit of the pressure off, you know.

I got to play with ZZ Top and introduce Bryan Adams and George Michael. And to have it all topped off by me winning 'American Idol?!' It's pretty absurd.

In August of 1921, one of the great American combinations was unveiled—even better than the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. This fortuitous new blend was radio and baseball.

Cease to ask what the morrow will bring forth, and set down as gain each day that fortune grants.

In all successful relationships, the man respects the woman - and it takes a special guy to handle a successful woman. You have to be confident in who you are and what you do.

The beginning of genius is being scared shitless.

And when you discover what you will be in your life, set out to do it as if God Almighty called you at this particular moment in history to do it. Don't just set out to do a good job.

Sometimes you can forget about who you are in a relationship. But you can also be inspired by the person you are with to become something you always knew you wanted to become.

You find the book in the process of doing it. That's the adventure of the job.

They say it is better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable, but how about a compromise like moderately rich and just moody?