It pains me even now, even a million years later, to write about such human misbehaviour. A million years later, I feel like apologizing for the human race. That’s all I can say.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my home on my back.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Creationists eagerly seek a gap in present-day knowledge or understanding. If an apparent gap is found, it is assumed that God, by default, must fill it.

Van Gogh couldn't have painted the stars in your eyes.

Beauty is everywhere you look, but you have to look.

O passing angel, speed me with a song, a melody of heaven to reach my heart and rouse me to the race and make me strong.

If I were ever stranded on a desert island, there would be 3 things I’d need: food, shelter, and a grip.

As you do not sweeten your mouth by saying honey, so you do not grow virtuous by merely talking of virtue.

You do not lament the loss of hair of one who has been beheaded.

To me, the "tape" is the final arbiter of any investment decision. I have a cardinal rule: Never fight the tape!

I envy the sensibility in Europe, appreciating beauty in women as they age. I'm going to go that way. I might dye my gray hair for a bit, but beyond that the buck stops. I'm not having any work done.

You never know with these things when you're trying something new what can happen. This is all experimental.