In case of a thunderstorm, stand in the middle of the fairway and hold up a one iron. Not even God can hit a one iron.

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

Pressure is playing for ten dollars when you don't have a dime in your pocket.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.

The older I get, the better I used to be.

You're Mexican until you make money and then you're Spanish.

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.

Who says life is fair, where is that written?

The only thing that stands between a person and what they want in life is the will to try it and the faith to believe it is possible.

Love is a practice. It’s up to you to choose it, prioritize it and commit to it.

I want clean water and clean air and conservation... that's not what extreme environmentalists are all about. For them, it is a religion. They believe in trees and animals, not God.

I just wanted to do something that had some meaning that I can look back and be proud of, that my family can look back and be proud of.

If people have multiple identities and deal with multiple realities, why should we expect them to be ontological purists?

I was not at all apprehensive about ... disease ... [it] had no terrors for me. The thing I most feared in the world was hunger. That was something of which I had personal knowledge.

We are all such a waste of our potential, like three-way lamps using one-way bulbs.

I think there are real possibilities of reaching out to many of the Trump voters, those who voted for Obama believing his rhetoric.

Don't even wait until you've lost a pound. The minute you can push the plate away with food still on it, give yourself a pat on the back.