In Germany, salads are assemblies of ham and mayonnaise, not trendy tossed leaves.

Of one thing there is no doubt: if Paris makes demands of the heart, then Munich makes demands of the stomach.

It's very hard to self-motivate without someone standing over you snarling, ready to hurl the chalk at your head at the slightest slackening.

If there's anything worse than being 16, it's having parents visibly reliving their own teenage years in your anguished presence.

Without my Johnson trademark mop of yellow hair, I think I would be nothing.

I talk to bankers, distributors, marketing people. I used to sit at home in my tracksuit bottoms, and the real excitement of my day would be going out to get a copy of Private Eye and a latte.

Of course I'm naughty. I've always had to compete for attention, you see.

When I'm called unkind... that really cuts to the quick. You can say anything else that you like about me.

Don't worry about never having time to write. Just write what you can in the time you do have and give yourself a big clap on the back, followed by a double latte and a blueberry muffin.

I do not think that having children - I have three teenagers - keeps you young. The reverse. It thrusts you into a full-frontal confrontation with your own all-too-obvious maturity.

I'm worried about looking like a bad person when, in fact, I try to be a good person. I don't like the public image that I've been dressed with and it worries me.

The feeling itself is the language your Higher Self listens to.

I'm not much into rear window ethics.

Language is more fashion than science, and matters of usage, spelling and pronunciation tend to wander around like hemlines.

I have lots of brothers and sisters, two of whom are younger than myself, so I rely on my phone, text messaging or e-mailing to stay in the loop and communicate when I'm away for big chunks of time.

The areas of the brain that have to do with speech are very connected with the same parallel processors that have to do with the kind of ballistic calculations you need to hit small game with a rock.

Any extra free time you have, you are sleeping, or you're trying to sleep

You cannot have a rational discussion with a man who prefers shooting you to being convinced by you.

Don't wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty.

Don't worry about what you don't have if you do have faith!

Excuse me, there's no pretense here. I happen to be genuinely self-absorbed and deeply shallow.