If you can survive 'Saturday Night Live,' then you're good as far as show business is concerned.

Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.

My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality.

And when I was angry, when I was younger, I was in a cocoon. Now I'm a beautiful, black butterfly.

Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses.

I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider. All of them are predators. They are dangerous but it's cool to have strong and powerful pets.

I see knowledge of self. I know who I am. When I look in the mirror, I see me.

Don't follow in my footsteps. Be original, and create your own path. Be a trailblazer! Do you! Be better than me. Do you! Be happy and have joy in your life.

I love my mother. My mother made sure, her stubbornness - she made sure we was going to eat. She made sure we had Christmases. That was my mother. My father wasn't there for that.

My father said: "If you want to catch your girl cheating, you knock on the front door and run to the back, because he's coming out the back."

I love this cornbread so much, I wanna take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant.

Beautiful silence is better than ugly speech.

You made a choice—a single choice. How neat to think you may have opened the door to a wondrous future without knowing.

If you always think about your dreams or goals, work steadfastly towards them and continue to challenge yourself, you will definitely be able to realise those dreams or goals.

A band is like a marriage - you don't know why it works, but when it does, everything feels right.

Brook Lopez had a better game than Deron Williams

If not me- who?, If not now- when?

Somebody should talk to Dan Quayle and tell him natural blondes don't have dark grey stripes on the sides.

Prosperity demands of us more prudence and moderation than adversity.

I think I'm becoming a psychologist in explaining the Republican Party. It's the only way you can explain 'em. It's psychological.

You can't ask the women to do anymore. It's time for us as Black men to step up and be what we're supposed to be.