If we all die and there is no God, then it's just eternal unconsciousness, you'll never know, but if you're wrong... you'll know forever.

Who is more irrational, the guy who believes in a God he can't see, or a guy who's offended by a God he doesn't believe in?

Get out of our schools God, get out of our textbooks God, get out of our government God, go away God, go away God, go away God, Katrina hits, God, where are you?

We should have a way of telling people they have bad breath without hurting their feelings. Well, I'm bored. Let's go brush our teeth. Or, I've got to make a phone call. Hold this gum in your mouth.

The way to stop political correctness is to not do it. If someone says, You offended me then you say I don't care! If they're offended by the truth, that's their issue!

Talk about sexist - have you ever, ever, heard someone come up to a woman and say 'find your masculine side?' And by the way women, if you find your masculine side - I'm not interested.

If God is a crutch, then atheism is a coma.

I suffer from two phobias: 1) Phobia-Phobia, the fear that you're unable to get scared, and 2) Xylophataquieopiaphobia, the fear of not pronouncing words correctly.

If the truth conflicts with my beliefs, I change my beliefs.

I don't hate cats...as long as they stay on the freeway, where they belong.

The truth is supposed to hurt. That's how it lets you know you don't got it.

When a woman births, not only is a baby being born but so is a mother. How we treat her will affect how she feels about herself as a mother and as a parent.Be gentle. Be kind. Listen.

Nobody on Earth can tell you how you should live your life. Nobody with any real authority anyway.

I don't actually watch that much TV, but I was obsessed with 'Dawson's Creek' growing up. And 'Freaks and Geeks.' And '8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter.'

I enjoy it when the world smiles; the more smiles, the warmer I am.

Technique is the test of sincerity.

He who wrongs the innocent must bear the fruit of his act, like dust flung against the wind.

We tend to overestimate what we can do in a short period, and underestimate what we can do over a long period.

I went to good schools, and I've just always had an allergic reaction to snobbishness - always found myself preferring to blend into the woodwork. I have an affinity to those who, in a sense, failed.

Cats hate a closed door, you know, regardless of which side they're on. If they're out, they want to get in, and if they're in, they want to get out.

With the opening of the second decade of the twentieth century it seemed that the stage was set for the last act in an unquestioned evolutionary drama.