Get out of our schools God, get out of our textbooks God, get out of our government God, go away God, go away God, go away God, Katrina hits, God, where are you?

Who is more irrational, the guy who believes in a God he can't see, or a guy who's offended by a God he doesn't believe in?

If we all die and there is no God, then it's just eternal unconsciousness, you'll never know, but if you're wrong... you'll know forever.

We should have a way of telling people they have bad breath without hurting their feelings. Well, I'm bored. Let's go brush our teeth. Or, I've got to make a phone call. Hold this gum in your mouth.

The way to stop political correctness is to not do it. If someone says, You offended me then you say I don't care! If they're offended by the truth, that's their issue!

Talk about sexist - have you ever, ever, heard someone come up to a woman and say 'find your masculine side?' And by the way women, if you find your masculine side - I'm not interested.

If God is a crutch, then atheism is a coma.

I suffer from two phobias: 1) Phobia-Phobia, the fear that you're unable to get scared, and 2) Xylophataquieopiaphobia, the fear of not pronouncing words correctly.

If the truth conflicts with my beliefs, I change my beliefs.

I don't hate cats...as long as they stay on the freeway, where they belong.

The truth is supposed to hurt. That's how it lets you know you don't got it.

Time is indifferent of the events and triumphs and tragedies of mankind, and really even, for the most part, of its own inexorable passage.

A nation will never be vanished by subjugation or oppression, unless they get used to.

There is nothing wrong with intellectual differences flowing from freedom of thought as long as such differences remain confined to intellectual debates.

I went to a regular school, not one of those fame academy things.

The Jets tried this whole garbage with Tim Tebow and Mark Sanchez and it got them nowhere.

Look for God. Look for God like a man with his head on fire looks for water.

One of my rules is: Never listen to your old stuff.

Christmas is a good time to take stock of our blessings.

We are not meant to be seen as God's perfect, bright-shining examples, but to be seen as the everyday essence of ordinary life exhibiting the miracle of His grace.

Learn about the incorruptible King, and know his heroes who never inflict slaughter on the peoples.