I’m the only authentic Vlad. Everyone else is merely an envious imitation.

The sh*t's gonna splatter, start buggin, yo..." Mencheres to Cat

Brush teeth. Wash hair. Rule undead world with an iron fist.

It was ironic; he held her captive, yet she’d captivated him.

You're shagging a woman who can turn into a dragon? Blast you, Charles, I am sick with envy!

I am a nice young girl here to pick up your granddaughter for the weekend... We're going to a Bible retreat to scare the devil out of her. - Bones to Cat's grandparents

You're not a woman," he said finally. "You're the Grim Reaper with red hair!

Careful, luv. I might be angry with you, but that doesn't mean I don't still want you. So if you do that again, I'll shag you right here, right now, and sod anyone who wants to watch

That face. That body. And you know he’s packing. Look at the angle on that dangle.

I couldn't help shaking my head as I looked at him. Ian slept like a baby every morning - well, a baby who continually kept one hand down his pants.

Nice to meet you, mate, and here's some advice: Don't even think about it. You try anything with her and I'll neuter you with my bare hands.

A career is wonderful, but you can't curl up with it on a cold night

If i were to backbite against anyone, it would be about my parents for they have more right to my good deeds

The only thing I know for sure is how much I do not know.

I really believe one of the jobs of a writer is to stretch as far as you can into other voices.

I hope I've been a good example to the youth of the church.

Style is the most ephemeral thing I know. It's not about how effective you are it's about how you are effective.

The great thing about arriving at this age is that I don't even care about my career anymore.

The greatest thing anyone can do for God or man is pray.

It was heavy, and I staggered when I lifted it; but it was strangely satifying to have a real burden upon my shoulders – a kind of counterweight to my terrible heaviness of heart.