I like talking to a person who is crazy in a fun, eccentric way. I don't want to talk to a legitimate crazy person, because that's not nice.

I came back to New York after college like any number of struggling performers, and you just find that niche where you can have some sort of impact. And for me that turned out to be comedy.

I can tell when somebody recognizes me, and I try to avoid those people.

I have a medical condition, all right. It's called caring too much, and it's incurable. Also, I have eczema.

For some reasons, I have WWE wrestlers tweeting me all the time. Like, my biggest fans. Why they can connect with my love for Meryl Streep, I don't know.

If you really think you have something good, you can't take no for an answer. You've got to get in there and ignore the people who say no.

My father and I were really like a team. I mean, he was very supportive. He'd come to every single one of my live shows.

I've had a lot of arguments with people, but it's never really gotten physical.

I'm not a big reality show fan, because I just think it's too fake.

Hotmail just picked up 12 new episodes of 'Judging Amy'.

Difficult People? I don't really know. I don't have those metrics.

Life is an illusion. Don’t forget to enjoy the magnificence of magic.

I added 'writers' to my list of people not to trust. They make everything up.

The whole conflict thus boils down to a question of degree. We of the minority see a law of diminishing returns in progress; our opponents do not.

When I was younger it was twice a day with a game on the weekend. Then when I got older, three times a day everyday in college and on the national team.

Life is for the strong, to be lived by the strong and if need be, taken by the strong. The weak were put on earth to give the strong pleasure.

I'm not a jack of all trades; I'm a master of many. I don't feel there is anything I can't do if I want to.

I am one with the power and wisdom of the Universe. I have all that I need.

In an ignorant country, everything will try to drag you down! Stay firm, aim at the stars, keep going up and drag up the people who are trying to drag you down!

After a while, you can't get any higher. It's like your head is in a wind tunnel - everything is vibrating.

Excellence isn't a one-week or one-year ideal. It's a constant.