I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes.

The downward spiral of Dumbness in America is about to hit a new low.

Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

I learned a long time ago that reality was much weirder than anyone's imagination.

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that claim a God and the only thing that behaves like it hasn't got one.

Sleep late, have fun, get wild, drink whisky and drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind but falling in love and not getting arrested.

America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.

So we shall let the reader answer this question for himself: who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?

Anything that gets your blood racing is probably worth doing.

Hope rises and dreams flicker and die. Love plans for tomorrow and loneliness thinks of yesterday. Life is beautiful and living is pain.

The world is a marketplace. We all are in business and what we areselling is our unique selves.

No. No more surprises. No more secrets. Or so help me, I will rip off your own leg and beat you with it.

Our aim is to develop affectionate robots that can make people smile.

I want to be more consistent. I wanna get hits. I wanna get my average back up where people think I can hit.

Through the sequester'd vale of rural life The venerable patriarch guileless held The tenor of his way.

Now therefore amend your ways and your doings, and obey the voice of the LORD your God, and the LORD will repent of the evil which he has pronounced against you.

The rules of friendship are tacit, unconscious; they are not rational. In business, though, you have to think rationally.

There is a time for all things - except marriage, my dear.

I'm sort of contrary and stubborn sometimes. When everybody says, 'You have to read this book! You have to read this book!' I'm like 'Oh, I'll get around to it.'

Vanity is often the unseen spur.