I don't need to be enlightned. I have a killfile.

Nothing fazes me. I'm like some kinda Space man on his way to Mars with a big gun and a whole lot of coffee.

I think religion is best when it's reduced to a one hour television program.

It might be funny when you get hit by a car, but not when you get run over by one.

Chicks dig webmasters.

If you are the land, then I am the sea. I don't need you and you don't need me.

How do poems grow? They grow out of your life.

If anybody needs me, I'm in my room being embalmed.

One of the most beneficial things I've ever learned is how to keep my mouth shut.

Feeling good about ourselves is essential in our being able to love others.

We have first lady Michelle Obama on the show tonight. As you'd expect, security's been pretty tight. On my way in I got five pat-downs, and that was just from Joe Biden.

I am interested in what happens to people who find the whole of life so rewarding that they are able to move through it with the same kind of delight in which a child moves through a game.

Religious faith not only lacks evidence, its independence from evidence is its pride and joy, shouted from the rooftops.

When I was a little boy, my dream was to play baseball and leave Cuba.

But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.