Having signed a few autographs in my time, I always wonder what the heck people do with them.

Laughter is the best medicine - unless you're diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list.

Ringo isn't the best drummer in the world. He isn't even the best drummer in the Beatles

They put up this bloke's picture on Crimewatch UK with a phone number and said 'Have you seen this man?' Well my auntie rang them up and said 'No'.

I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for.

There is no way in my right mind I would contemplate running 26 miles-plus unless it involved a chase with Pamela Anderson.

I have a very happy marriage and friends who keep my feet on the ground. But looking for satisfaction in life is difficult. Maybe being happy is as simple as not being unhappy.

I have that working class fear of having nothing. I've always got one eye on what's in the bank.

Happiness to me is simply not being unhappy.

I have to confess here that I am a useless cook.

I've always been sensible with my money. I can't say I'm a business genius.

Friendship is the best kind of ship.

Every man must find his own philosophy, his attitude towards life.

I don't just strictly sample. I build. I'm a musician: I play piano and drums, I read notes, I write music.

In scattering seeds of kindness, do it by hand and not by machine.

There are plenty of recommendations on how to get out of trouble cheaply and fast. Most of them come down to this: Deny your responsibility.

When I first started all this, it was mostly music fans that came along, Stones fans. But now, I'm being taken seriously. I've got highfalutin art collectors and everything!

Desire only God, and your heart will be satisfied.

Miss Dietrich is not so much a performer as a one-woman environment.

You're like the girl who left her shadow in the drawer, but when she went to get it, it wasn't there.

There are some people who, if they don't already know, you can't tell 'em.