Have you ever noticed the Democrats always set the agenda? Whatever the Democrats say they want, that's just what's gonna happen. There's no questioning the policy!

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

A likely impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility. The story should never be made up of improbable incidents

We don't need you to make us feel safe, Jake. Because you made us feel brave. And that's even better.

Pride is the recognition of the fact that you are your own highest value and, like all of man's values, it has to be earned.

Life is mostly just learning how to lose.

We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.

June [Hillary] is a very strong influence in my life and particularly now in my ancient years there is no doubt at all: if there's a decision to be made, quite often June is the one who makes it.

Why did God create men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.

Find yourself and express yourself in your own particular way. Express your love openly.

I felt it would to add a great deal to my legend for eccentricity.

The Senegalese conservationist Baba Dioum can summarize: "In the end, we will conserve only what we love, we will love only what we understand, and we will understand only what we are taught."