Golf isn't just my business, it's my hobby.

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

Pressure is playing for ten dollars when you don't have a dime in your pocket.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.

The older I get, the better I used to be.

You're Mexican until you make money and then you're Spanish.

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.

A young, beautiful mayor’s with high-powered plans for the city of Compton must put them aside to become a sleuth to solve the assassination of her husband, the mayor.

Happiness is when you are content with who you are, what you are, and where you are.

All things are possible, ... Except the passing of regret.

It is because we are all impostors that we endure each other. The man who does not consent to lie will see the earth shrink under his feet: we are biologically obliged to the false

You can do anything in the world if you say "Hey man, don't blame me, the devil made me do it. It's an easy way to escape responsibility."

If I hung one of my paintings next to someone else's, I knew mine would kind of pop off the wall.

I used to feel like I had to be the best at what I did, but I realized I don't have to be the best. It's so freeing. I've never been this happy.

As I looked out into the night sky, across all those infinite stars, it made me realize how insignificant they are.

Wisdom is probably the ability to cope. That's why someone who has to walk seven miles every day to get water for their children can be wiser than someone sitting behind a desk in Wall Street.

Peter would probably throw a party if I stopped breathing.' 'Well,' he says, 'I would only go if there was cake.