For everyone that doesn't want to endorse Donald Trump or doesn't even want to support him, they should realize he actually has a connection to his voters.

My children are 12, 12, 8, and 7, which is bad idea, bad idea, bad idea, bad idea, for mom going inside.

I went out on my own, years ago, to try to create some additional choices in a parallel universe.

Donald Trump just has always elevated women to the highest echelons.

I never knew I was so stupid or so ugly until there was social media.

Do you think I ran a campaign where white supremacists had a platform? Are you gonna look me in the face and tell me that?

We know there are lots of leaks everywhere. There's nothing we can do about that, except not leak ourselves.

I want to talk about things that are quantifiable, not a bunch of metro riders and crowd sizes.

Usually based on an economic agenda, white working-class voters don't buy into this whole biology-chemistry-abortion-gender agenda as much as they want more take-home pay. They want affordability.

When I see Twitter feeds, when I see words that are people are using to describe Donald Trump, it is incredibly disrespectful to the office.

Hold us accountable. There's no accountability in Washington. Drain the swamp.

You aren't alive if you aren't in need.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

The more it changes, the more it's the same thing.

Living in regret will become your biggest regret.

There's never been a good government.

The samskaras that were developed in previous incarnations are usually hidden by the temporary amnesia of infancy and by the transient personality.

I'm hitting the driver so good I gotta dial the operator for long distance after I hit it.

Water the root to enjoy the fruit.

Christian living means dying with Christ and rising again. That, as we saw, is part of the meaning of baptism, the starting point of the Christian pilgrimage.

A humorist doesn't really do that much note-taking.