Donald Trump doesn't believe that the Constitution is a suicide pact.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

I just think everything is a learning experience and every moment that you have that actually feels good inside of your heart is an absolute blessing and a gift.

One thing is sure, there are just two respectable ways to die. One is of old age, and the other is by accident.

A bird in the hand may be worth two in the bush, but remember also that a bird in the hand is a positive embarrassment to one not in the poultry business.

The FEAR of becoming dehydrated causes dehydration. As with so many things in our life, it is because we KNOW it is a problem that it is a problem.

I grew up on Don Knotts and Jerry Lewis and all the guys from Second City.

The only reason you're still conscious is because I don't want to carry your body.

One of the best ways of becoming an effective parent—or, for that matter, an effective human being—is to understand the perceptions of other people, to be able to “get into their world.

none can be Tyrants but Cowards.

When I'm writing about reality, I'm writing about death. When I'm writing fiction, I'm writing about life.

What is the heart? It is not human and it is not imaginary. I call it you.