Chipping and putting for par is like a dog chasing cars, he won't be doing it for very long.

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

Pressure is playing for ten dollars when you don't have a dime in your pocket.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.

The older I get, the better I used to be.

You're Mexican until you make money and then you're Spanish.

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.

Hippocrates is an excellent geometer but a complete fool in everyday affairs.

One of the things you're doing when you make art, apart from entertaining yourself and other people, is trying to see what ways of working feel good, what feels right.

Her eyes were olive green―incisive and clear.

I was just getting out of a shootaround in Milwaukee when I found out. I took out my insoles (from my shoes) and I was out of there.

Ask yourself: Is there joy, ease and lightness in what i'm doing? If there isn't then time is covering up the present moment, and life is perceived as a burden or a struggle.

We do not find the Savior using force or coercion to accomplish His purposes.

Mental Toughness: The ability to consistently perform toward the upper range of your talent and skill regardless of the competitive circumstances.

when you fall in love, you must fall in love with a man the way he is now, because marriage won't change anything, except maybe your tax deduction.

I never knew my titties was bigger than Pamela So paparazzi flickin be flickin their camera

No tears are shed when an enemy dies.