Barack Obama, foreign policy wizard. I just have to laugh.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

The most secretive news that can make you to shake hands with great people is humility. Pride on the other way is a dream killer.

Tout les jours you are coming some fresh game or other on me, mais vous ne pouvez pas play this savon dodge on me twice!

Please your mother: just lie around upstairs and smoke some pot. Be a revolutionary.

I love dress shopping, and I love talking about the wedding food. That's what makes me happy. If you tell me to do a guest list, I cry. I hate it.

The man of the millennium is much more liberated than the man of the '90s.

Winners make commitments, losers make excuses.

For millions of years you have slept. This morning, will you not wake?

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

Everybody's got whatever problems they have. I refuse to let somebody's mistaken beliefs affect my life.

While I was waiting...I ate your lunch.