Anytime you see me with my arms around an old man, I'm holding him for the police.

Love is like playing checkers. You have to know which man to move.

Advice to children crossing the street: damn the lights. Watch the cars. The lights ain't never killed nobody.

Ain't nothin' an ol' man can do but bring me a message from a young one.

Black women, white women- all of them. I'm colorblind. I don't know the difference. I only know you're a human being and you're my children.

My husband was so ugly, he used to stand outside the doctor’s office and make people sick.

It's no disgrace to be old. But damn if it isn't inconvenient.

The teenagers aren't all bad. I love 'em if nobody else does. There ain't nothing wrong with young people. Jus' quit lyin' to 'em.

A woman is a woman until the day she dies, but a man's man only as long as he can

I don't want nothing old but some old money. Buy me some young ideas. That's what I'm gonna do with it.

Use those brains that God put in your head.

It is strange a difference comes from a subtraction.

The winds have a force so terrific as to eclipse anything previously known in the world. We have found the kingdom of blizzards. We have come to an accursed land.

(Sebastian) "See, there you go. You're always looking at me like that." "Like what?" "Like I burn down animal shelters for fun and light my cigarettes with orphans.

Life is so short, so beautiful. Don't be so serious about work. Enjoy the lives.

Perhaps you could call your cat Meow so it could say it's own name. Or how about Stupid Cat Get Out Of Here. That would really confuse it if you tried to call it over to you.

No vice exists which does not pretend to be more or less like some virtue, and which does not take advantage of this assumed resemblance.

After creating something and hearing from someone that it really helped them or changed their life motivates me to continue doing this.

Two scoops of crazy with a side of coo coo ca choo

Many say that (Pete) Sampras is the greatest player. But I say with all due respect to the rest, that he (Roger Federer) is the most complete player in the world so far.

Men are that they might have joy . . . not guilt trips.