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Sarcasm Humor Quotes

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Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic."

I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "High School. Society’s bright idea to put all their aggressive, naive youth into one environment to torment and emotionally scar each other for life."

High School. Society’s bright idea to put all their aggressive, naive youth into one environment to torment and emotionally scar each other for life.




Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "I don't understand German myself. I learned it at school, but forgot every word of it two years after I had left, and have felt much better ever since."

I don't understand German myself. I learned it at school, but forgot every word of it two years after I had left, and have felt much better ever since.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "Forgive me, Your Grace. Are you suggesting a woman is some sort of … piece of fruit to you? One squeeze, and you know if she’s ripe?"

Forgive me, Your Grace. Are you suggesting a woman is some sort of … piece of fruit to you? One squeeze, and you know if she’s ripe?




Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "You did not just say that. I have a feeling we're on the verge of hugging and coming up with cute nicknames for each other."

You did not just say that. I have a feeling we're on the verge of hugging and coming up with cute nicknames for each other.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "Time for the likeliest story since Mary told Joseph it was God’s."

Time for the likeliest story since Mary told Joseph it was God’s.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "Your wit is always such a delight, Mr. Zeklos. I can barely contain myself around it."

Your wit is always such a delight, Mr. Zeklos. I can barely contain myself around it.




Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "It was stealing her breath, imbecile. Go get a towel." -Christophe, Strange Angels by Lili St. Crow"

It was stealing her breath, imbecile. Go get a towel." -Christophe, Strange Angels by Lili St. Crow



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "If you didn't have me to rake you over the coals now and then, there wouldn't be any fire in your life at all."

If you didn't have me to rake you over the coals now and then, there wouldn't be any fire in your life at all.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head."

The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble."

One day I'll work out what it is you are saying, my lad, and then you'll be in trouble.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "Were you born stupid, Heinrich, or did you have to study?"

Were you born stupid, Heinrich, or did you have to study?




Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "Yeah, over my scattered panties, I asked him to dinner and told him to bring a friend.” - Laney"

Yeah, over my scattered panties, I asked him to dinner and told him to bring a friend.” - Laney



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "With a sense of humor like that, you could make a living as a garbage man anywhere in the country."

With a sense of humor like that, you could make a living as a garbage man anywhere in the country.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "I also don't turn into a bat or sparkle in the sun. Hollywood's portrayal of vampires is almost as accurate as its portrayal of prostitution in Pretty Woman."

I also don't turn into a bat or sparkle in the sun. Hollywood's portrayal of vampires is almost as accurate as its portrayal of prostitution in Pretty Woman.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "I swear to God, if GreatReads doesn't stop sending me these notification emails...how many times do I have to turn them off?"

I swear to God, if GreatReads doesn't stop sending me these notification emails...how many times do I have to turn them off?



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "Uh, yeah - how about a warm hell no to that request? Does that work for you? Because it works for me."

Uh, yeah - how about a warm hell no to that request? Does that work for you? Because it works for me.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "MacMillian groaned again, and sat up. "Clients?""Yeah. You know, people who'll give us money in exchange for work."

MacMillian groaned again, and sat up. "Clients?""Yeah. You know, people who'll give us money in exchange for work.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "I can give you two words, " I tell him. "The second is off. Can you guess the first?"

I can give you two words, " I tell him. "The second is off. Can you guess the first?



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "In my youth, I was always one for the dramatic entrance. Now, in keeping with my character, I gravitate more toward the subtle and refined. Okay, with the occasional feathered serpent thrown in."

In my youth, I was always one for the dramatic entrance. Now, in keeping with my character, I gravitate more toward the subtle and refined. Okay, with the occasional feathered serpent thrown in.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "I—though forced through lack of space to assume the form of a stoic guinea pig crouched between the girl's shoe and the glove compartment—was my usual dignified self."

I—though forced through lack of space to assume the form of a stoic guinea pig crouched between the girl's shoe and the glove compartment—was my usual dignified self.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "I've been trying to figure that out since I met him. I've had more luck trying to smell the color nine."

I've been trying to figure that out since I met him. I've had more luck trying to smell the color nine.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "It's better to shut a fool's mouth with sarcasm rather than cursing him back."

It's better to shut a fool's mouth with sarcasm rather than cursing him back.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "Weapons master is giving me special lessons." she (Amily) chuckled. " He calls then How Not To Get Killed lessons."

Weapons master is giving me special lessons." she (Amily) chuckled. " He calls then How Not To Get Killed lessons.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "Would somebody please tell him whose idea it had been to kill the entire state of Colorado?"

Would somebody please tell him whose idea it had been to kill the entire state of Colorado?



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "If this is how you feel about a desert, I can't wait until you see your first real tree. Your mind will explode."

If this is how you feel about a desert, I can't wait until you see your first real tree. Your mind will explode.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "Poetry is a disease vector. Like malaria."

Poetry is a disease vector. Like malaria.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "When all else fails...try smoking a good cigar and have a stiff drink. If that doesn't work...have another."

When all else fails...try smoking a good cigar and have a stiff drink. If that doesn't work...have another.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "Right. That's twenty-two fifty.""Twenty-two fifty?" We can't hide our exasperation."Well, yeah - this is a classy joint, you know.""That's obvious - the service is incredible."

Right. That's twenty-two fifty.""Twenty-two fifty?" We can't hide our exasperation."Well, yeah - this is a classy joint, you know.""That's obvious - the service is incredible.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "No. No way. That name is reserved for females with grace and elegance, not this girl. This girl is...beastly."

No. No way. That name is reserved for females with grace and elegance, not this girl. This girl is...beastly.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "I guess we'll just sit around here and casually die, then."

I guess we'll just sit around here and casually die, then.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "Civilization is held together by duct tape and spit, and I'm worried about the duct tape."

Civilization is held together by duct tape and spit, and I'm worried about the duct tape.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "Well we can't be having that. One person starts having fun and it turns into an epidemic. Difficult to stop that kind of thing, you know."

Well we can't be having that. One person starts having fun and it turns into an epidemic. Difficult to stop that kind of thing, you know.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "... the house is on fire, but go ahead - finish painting the verandah..."

... the house is on fire, but go ahead - finish painting the verandah...



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "There is never a bad joke, it's adressing to a wrong audience that makes it look bad!"

There is never a bad joke, it's adressing to a wrong audience that makes it look bad!



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "Come on, there's no one there. You want coffee?" Tess asked."Yeah, sure, why not? I'm only on the brink of a nervous breakdown. I don't imagine why caffeine wouldn't help this situation."

Come on, there's no one there. You want coffee?" Tess asked."Yeah, sure, why not? I'm only on the brink of a nervous breakdown. I don't imagine why caffeine wouldn't help this situation.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "She never saw the point of making fun of strangers – how could you possibly know enough about them to hit below the belt?"

She never saw the point of making fun of strangers – how could you possibly know enough about them to hit below the belt?



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.' Yeah, well, whoever wrote that was a friggin' idiot."

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.' Yeah, well, whoever wrote that was a friggin' idiot.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "You know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.''And yet it is still extremely funny."

You know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.''And yet it is still extremely funny.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "There were so many viciously sarcastic ways to respond, Jaden’s brain was temporarily paralyzed due to witty comeback overload."

There were so many viciously sarcastic ways to respond, Jaden’s brain was temporarily paralyzed due to witty comeback overload.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "But nowhere in the file had anyone said, “Oh, and by the way, he runs like a gazelle with an espresso addiction.” At least not in the parts I’d skimmed."

But nowhere in the file had anyone said, “Oh, and by the way, he runs like a gazelle with an espresso addiction.” At least not in the parts I’d skimmed.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "Is this the baby?" I said.Ma turned on me again."What do you think it is?" she said. "A midget that can't talk?"

Is this the baby?" I said.Ma turned on me again."What do you think it is?" she said. "A midget that can't talk?



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "Who the hell is that?!Some call her Satan. Others, Beelzebub. She goes by many names."

Who the hell is that?!Some call her Satan. Others, Beelzebub. She goes by many names.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "Just for the record the weather today is slightly sarcastic, with a good chance of A. indifference and B. disinterest in what the critics say."

Just for the record the weather today is slightly sarcastic, with a good chance of A. indifference and B. disinterest in what the critics say.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "If she hasn't learned to appreciate my sterling character and spectacular good looks by this time, it's not likely she will."

If she hasn't learned to appreciate my sterling character and spectacular good looks by this time, it's not likely she will.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "Don't sound so surprised. I have sensible moments, you know."

Don't sound so surprised. I have sensible moments, you know.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "You are such a kind and caring man, and so sizzling hot and studly. Please, please don’t go nutty on me."

You are such a kind and caring man, and so sizzling hot and studly. Please, please don’t go nutty on me.



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "You're Professor Mills? The new one who teaches history?"As opposed to the old Professor Mills who preached overthrow of the government?"

You're Professor Mills? The new one who teaches history?"As opposed to the old Professor Mills who preached overthrow of the government?



Sarcasm Humor Quotes: "That's the spirit! Make it chicken broth or nothing. That's putting the old foot down. If she's determined to have a nervous breakdown, the least we can do is see that she doesn't have it in peace."

That's the spirit! Make it chicken broth or nothing. That's putting the old foot down. If she's determined to have a nervous breakdown, the least we can do is see that she doesn't have it in peace.