Humorous Quotes
Stella turned to us. "One of us is going to have to swim it. Any volunteers?"Jamie shook his head. "Not it. Sharks, first of all, and second of all, sharks"- The Retribution of Mara Dyer
Join us B+ people! Life is not neat and tidy, but we always manage to get the job done!
I've known him since dirt was new, Papaw laughed. We go way back...Dawg Papaw, that's a long time! Mark exclaimed.
Oh, I usually pray in Spanish, speak French to my boyfriend, curse in Dutch, and talk German to my German Shepherd
Don't fight the system, mock the system
But in a time of war, knowledge made interesting friendships. Soon, the scholars and the thieves were . . . well, thick as thieves.
A teacher asked me once, what I wanted to be when I grew up. I told her a clown and she asked me if I was joking
I made a noise of disgust, and I think I would have stormed out if I knew how to open the door.
As far as he was concerned, there were only two all-important laws on earth:1. Don’t murder people.2. Never swear in front of Lilly.
Aging gracefully - A concept that is rejected in 40s, but gracefully accepted in 50s...
You can’t even stay dead like a reasonable person!” he yelled, overjoyed at the sight of his brother. “What, you didn’t miss me?
Best timepass for idle person is to find another and gossip, without realising that there are superlative degrees of idle, idler, and idlest.
The next day was wonderful...and terrible. So, overall, I guess it was okay.
For me to read a good novel without enjoying a cup of coffee or a cup of tea or a nice glass of wine in the process would be like having water without the wet. It's simply impossible.
Kloo nodded at Lex in an indescribably maternal way, somehow cramming a lifetime of compassion, support, and tenderness all into one slight bounce of the head.
Writing something new is an effective way to get rid of writer's block. Or you can observe the people around you and fantasize like I do.
The pig was so earnest. So sincere. So very “there.” The pig brought gravity and mythic import to this well-worn fairy tale.
When people ask how old I am, I just tell them twenty-one, and if they assume I mean years instead of decades or centuries, then that can't be my fault, can it?
At the dockside I was pleasantly surprised to find the North wasn't all hairy men in animal skins. There was also hairy women in animal skins.
Why did men have to ruin everything? The answer was simple, she supposed—because foolish women gave them the chance
I can look a whole day with delight upon a handsome picture, though it be but of an horse.
I know that whenever I feel my world turningupside down, nothing grounds me like a manicure.
A shame. As promising as a sky full'a rainbows but as useful as a bag'a dirt.
Always look outside of the box, unless there is something exceedingly dangerous outside of the box in which case it might be wiser to stay inside.
People are lot like peanuts...It's not what's on the outside that matters, and that damn shell just gets shucked into the trash anyhow.
There is never a bad joke, it's adressing to a wrong audience that makes it look bad!
When I was young, I believed God was a woman because I couldn't come up with any other explanation as to why the universe was so tidy.
A man who boasts he's the head of the home must never forget the woman is the knife at his throat.
It was 10:30 in the morning and I was already running behind. This is hardly unusual, but it pisses me off every single time.
I had a maternal instinct once, it lasted 48 hours
C'mon. We can turn it into a fun game - What's Scarier, The Basement Or The Attic?
We know already ample experience that it does not require much cleverness or much learning to be a governor, for there are a hundred round about us that scarcely know how to read.
You probably drink too much. If you hand me that bottle, I'll reduce your temptations. --Augustus "Gus" McCrae
Are you sure you have enough sweetener in that? I could offer to conscript the rest of the cubes from the galley for you.
I don’t really believe in aliens. I like to think of them as planet challenged.
Look here, my boy, if you have average intelligence, about half the things you do are bound to be right, which is a fair achievement for any career. Don't spend sleepless nights over them.
Love yourself’ the social horde spouts from on high, mere moments later they frown at a bypassing narcissist.