Humor Quotes
Necessity used to be the mother of invention, but then we ran out of things that were necessary.
Just because he might not know the difference between a spanner and a hammer, didn’t mean a good dose of Heroic kicking wouldn’t solve the same problem.
Wow. Whoops. Sorry. ... I just lost two hours inside a YouTube kitten warp.
Way to defuse a situation. It's tough to enjoy a good bloodbath in the middle of a PowerPoint presentation.
Technology is too crazy for me, but I would be very happy when they make phone that can cook.
It happens to us all. We drink too much, take one too many hits of acid, proposition the wrong prostitute and end up by the side of some freeway, disheveled and disoriented.
War created the conditions for great advances in technology...without war men would not traverse oceans in hours, travel in space, or microwave popcorn.
I won't say that all senior citizens who can't master technology should be publicly flogged, but if we made an example of one or two, it might give the others incentive to try harder.
In this section you will learn how to use the tools the way that I think you will choose to use them by default.
The information age is so psychotic – without the cell phone and Internet, I would be drama free right now.
She flipped through the pages of her apps, as if Apple made an app for "Escape from a deserted island.
I had a dream about you last night, for the millionth time! We did what we always do in my dreams. We talked, but we never made out. How come I still dream about you if we never freaking make out?
Abbey relaxed, grateful not only that someone had thought to throw a party for her, but that she had been able to escape attending.
It extols death with the luminescent brilliance of a dying star. It is Genghis Khan bathed in sherbet ice cream. The mantis shrimp is the harbinger of blood-soaked rainbows.
I really hate that I need my glasses while using my laptop. What I hate even more is that I need those glasses to be full of vodka at all times.-Karen Quan and Jarod Kintz
It is not what they say, but the reaction that tells you everything you need to know.
Well why don't you lean over this counter a little more and give me your best kiss, and then I'll tell you if I want you to take me out to dinner.
It's almost never the kind of person you are but the kind of job you do decides how much you get paid.
I love really long books because it feels like you are diving into a pool for a very long time.:)
Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother and we should respect her
I felt the human disease that is ignorance suddenly leave my body. Just like that. Like a hot, desperate piss after a long car ride.
Nevertheless, he had, on a certain star-lit evening, said wonderingly and quite reverently: "Deh moon looks like hell, don't it?
Life is a beautiful thing. Plant it in the ground, and it blooms into opportunity, capice?
Not very tall, not very dark but very...very handsome, ’ was his way of describing himself.
The guy had guts—I had to give him that. Later on I was hoping for a first-hand look at them.
Skul-man!' he exclaimed as he rushed forward to shake his hand. 'Last I heard you were trapped on a dead world overrun by evil trans-dimensional superfiends!' Skulduggery nodded. 'Just got back.
Without pride, man becomes a parasite – and there are already too many parasites.
It’s late and most of the clerks are at home in their beds, dreaming of swimming in pools filled with real money.
Don’t mock my suggestions, Ridley – one day in the near future, they might just save your life.” Maxwell D. Kalist.
Only men with intelligence, confidence and absolutely no empathy at all can progress upstairs.
To Kalist, Baumauer’s just a timber bridge in need of a good hot fire.
You are a more powerful person than you might have ever imagined.” Maxwell D. Kalist.
Are there not times, Ridley, when you yourself wish only to hear the best in people – and not to be dragged downwards into the underworld we all regularly inhabit?
Well, I don't know, Lina. But let's just say I've met a lot of dead people.
In every relationship one must sacrifice to show thy love. Are you willing to make sacrifices for someone you love?
...as the old saying goes: if you teach a man to fish, he will feed himself for a lifetime. But if you just give him a fishing pole, he’ll have to teach himself.