Humor Quotes
Who was the moron on the phone?""Carl Avery, " Kate said. "A long-standing client and potential felon.
Never underestimate the power of cookies.
A mind without a secret is with a question mark! A mind with so many secrets shall attract an exclamation one day!
What a paradox it is, the sane causes more problems than the insane! It is! The real problems of the world do not come from the insane but, the sane!
Communism will kill you quicker than a maraschino cherry ever will.
The rich take life one financial year at a time. The poor take life one meal at a time.
See. I told you I would get that boy to the alter eventually. All I had to do was pretend I was a loon.
I can write about all of these bizarre and funny characters in my book, "Diggin' Elroy, " because I know them better than anyone else. I have a little bit of all of them in me.
Don’t tell me you have OCD about this?”“OCD, ADHD—pretty sure if they come up with some new acronym tomorrow I’d have it.
If people were Superior to Animals, they'd take better care of the world
There's no such things as sweet as dreamWell maybe if you live on itBut you could live such a sweet lifeIf you'd just realized how alive your dreams beat
When dreaming is better than reality we're livingWhat's the sense of waking up in a nightmare?
A girl can dream can’t she? My new life plan is to stumble into every office of a CEO until I find a Christian Grey.
Did you meet your soul mate? That always happens on the first day of school, right?''Oh God, Charlie, she's letting you read again! You went straight to the paranormal section, didn't you?
Barrons: "He got upset it wouldn't shut up and tore its head off."Mac: "The child?" I gasped
Lothaire is very much alive.”“You swear?”“Often. Though not as much as foul-mouthed Regin. I try not to in front of Bertil.” She petted the bat.“I meant—will Lothaire live?”“He will.
Amy, " Elsie Moore said in her crackling voice, her gaze fixed on Declan. "I want you to get me a new bear. A blond one.
I need a victim and no offense Yuki, but your carrot sticks are lacking in controversy.
Thank you for that, boy genius! Where did you graduate from? Hogwarts School for the Mentally Unbalanced?
And-he was ashamed to admit--he had been known to carry off the occasional roll of duct tape. That stuff could be used for everything.
TimeTrap raised her head and looked pointedly at St. John. “It was a dimensional portal, silly. Duh.
My heart battered against my ribs, my breath stalled and I gazed up into his laughing, smiling eyes...eyes that suddently glowed crimson and cruel.
He pulled out a dagger from ... she wasn't sure where. Did he have that in his loin cloth? What else does he have in there? (Amy's thoughts, The Witching Pen)
All this for two bad lines he could’ve gotten out of a fortune cookie?
It’s not the dead people you got to worry about… It’s the living that are scary.
Unless the she-wolf agrees, there’s always a chance of rejection.
Brett will need some clothes if someone can drop some by.” “All we need is a bear rug, ” Meghan said.
I've been wearing my super gown because someone won't let me go get maternity clothes because they are being a paranoid, drama bear
Do Dragons eat Mexican?" Hank wondered out loud."Dude, they eat people. Mexican is a vast improvement over people.
What’s the worst that could happen?”“Don’t say that!” Bess and Corwin yelled at the same time.“You two are so superstitious.
She needs tampons. Evidently it helps with this process. We have to secure the location of where they are being sold, acquire them and then get them back to my mate posthaste.
Hello little one. Did you know you're on private property?""Really? I had no idea." Meryn fudged. He raised an eyebrow. "The ten foot fence right behind you didn't give it away?
You take all the fun out of life for me, Nik. You know that?" Aiden- Blood Hunger (Deathless Night Series #1)
Been there, done that. I’m sure I’ve got a T-shirt somewhere to prove it.
...he didn’t know when he was going to get the chance to play WoW again. And it was damn important to do his bit to save all life on Azeroth while he could.
There is new information.”“Are you going to share it?”“No.”Of course not. Because it would totally ruin his whole mysterious vibe. Can’t have that.
You're all here. Mixed in a bit with some of my cells. May have to redefine our relationship after this.
You will show that thing to me and from now on, I will deal with them."I opened my eyes really wide and fluttered my eyelashes at him. "I'm sorry, I must've missed your coronation ceremony. Silly me.
You will need to verify your identity with a sacrifice.""Didn't you ever hear of retina scans? Maybe fingerprints? Something less invasive?
Sweetie, I’m not a flowers and chocolates kind of gal, ” she said, leaning into him. “Well, maybe the chocolate.”“I was going to say.”— Krysta and Étienne
There is no reason to feel embarrassed, Krysta.""Easy for you to say! You weren't caught mentally checking out my package!"~ Étienne and Krysta
