Funny Quotes
Seriousness is too boring to the playful human condition. A heart of stone that has a long face can never express love.
Thou mayest choose an helpmeet, " said the King to me.An helpmeet? What the great googly-moogly was that?
Most of a husband’s life is spent in doing research on his wife.
That woman, " Grimm said quietly, "drives me quite insane."Kettle grunted. "Why'd you marry her, then?
Guess it's high time we add the 8th vow in marriage promising that we shall spend time with our husband or wife more than with social networking sites!
In real life, couples bond and war over a million different things. The causes of divorce are like beautiful, unique snowflakes.
Do you know what happens when you play a country song backwards? You get your wife back, your dog back and your job back.
The online music magazine Pitchfork once wrote that I would collaborate with anyone for a bag of Doritos.
I just don't— Ronan. My ears are bleeding!"Ronan turned down the music.
Ah, yes, the mix tape. The mating call of the introvert.
Self-publishing a shitty book doesn't make you an author any more than singing in the shower makes you a rockstar or squeezing your pimple makes you a dermatologist.
In the Belgian backwaters, south of Bruges, there lives a reclusive English composer, named Vyvyan Ayrs. You won’t have heard of him because you’re a musical oaf, but he’s one of the greats.
There is no better taste than this: someone else's laughter in your mouth.
When I opened the door, Andrew was standing there like a remedy for heart palpitations. Or maybe he made them worse. It was hard to tell.
It would seem very silly to start a conversation with a common hedgehog. They are not at all like cats, who surely understand the human language.
Someday my prince will come, ” she lamented softly, “too fast.
I… I can’t. I wish I were a little bolder.”“What for?” the Hatter asked. “Being a small rock wouldn’t be much fun.
Normally, she would never wish a head injury on anyone, but it might make her days in Archival Studies a bit easier.
Do you mean that Zane is some kind of bird magnet?
Are you educated in the art of medicine?” Yeah, the art of Walgreens and Urgent Care. “A bit, ” I hedged.
Chiron looked surprised. “I thought that would be obvious enough. The entrance to the Underworld is in Los Angeles.
My own brother calling me a brickhead. Sneering faeries insulting me. Women punching me in the face. How much more am I to swallow in one bloody day?
In the void, there is no distinction of east and west."Gwen blinked slightly at that. "I know all of those words, and yet when strung together like that I have no idea what they mean.
If we all learnt cat-speak, we would often find they are saying, “You stupid human, I am trying to tell you something important right now!
There exists a microscopic breed of brain beetle, commonly known as an ‘idea’. An idea desires only one thing: To catch the perfect brain wave.
Memory is like a box of chocolates. They disappear quickly.
The Decision...I wiped my hands on my pinaforenow sullied and stainednot crisp or pressedas it had been before...
Are you kidding me? The last time I saw a face like yours, I fed it a banana.
Scientist say that music can change the speed of a heartbeat. They failed to add: so can a text message.
Because that's the truth about people with obsessively organised plans: we're not trying to control everything in our lives. We're trying to block everything we can't.
Marathon tidying produces a heap of garbage. At this stage, the one disaster that can wreak more havoc than an earthquake is the entrance of that recycling expert who goes by the alias of "mother.
