Funny Quotes
To be, or not to be: what a question!
Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn't enough. You also have to move the chair.
The common man prays, 'I want a cookie right now!' And God responds, 'If you'd listen to what I say, tomorrow it will bring you 100 cookies.
No need, no, need. Life is already too short to find it.
Sarah, honey, I hardly think kidnappers are going to take the time to buy a memento of their stay. I could be wrong, but it seems rather unlikely.
I think sometimes the stars align whether we want them to or not. And we're drawn to certain people and places for no other reason than...Destiny.
Nothing is impossible to kill. It's just that sometimes after you kill something you have to keep shooting it until it stops moving
I'll have that someday, thought Peter. Someone who'll kiss me good-bye at the door. Or maybe just someone to put a blindfold over my head before they shoot me. Depending on how things turn out.
Oh! That was poetry!" said Pippin. "Do you really mean to start before the break of day?
The funny thing about writing is that whether you're doing well or doing it poorly, it looks the exact same. That's actually one of the main ways that writing is different from ballet dancing.
Rule number four for me as a writer? Plotlines are like sharks: They either keep moving or they die. ~J.R. Ward
A good story should provoke discussion, debate, argument...and the occasional bar fight.
Hey, Geekoid!" yelled Duncan Dougal, "Why do you read so much? Don't you know how to watch TV?
She's cute, I thought, but you don't need to like a girl who treats you like you're ten: You've already got a mom.
Now it was just the three of us: the leader, the warrior, and the kid about to wet his pants. Guess who I was.
Tantalus made a wild grab, but the marshmallow committed suicide, diving into the flames.
Will suspected Jem was in fact cleverer than he was himself - but he lacked Will's tendency to assume the absolute worst about people and proceed from there.
On Friday night, I was reading my new book, but my brain got tired, so I decided to watch some television instead.
What are you" -Mac "I don't follow" -Jericho "You dropped 30 feet in that warehouse. You should have broken something. What are you?" -Mac "A man with a rope." -Jericho
I don't like hello. It makes me sound like I have dementia, like I've never heard a phone ring before and I don't know what's supposed to happen next. Hello?
I want to make a memorial for our turkey. Never has a bird been so tortured to provide such a lousy dinner.
What do you think Dimitri? Is this a good idea, Dimitri? Please give us your blessing so that we can fall down and worship you, Dimitri.
Screw this. He’d blown his shot at nice-and-easy, which only left quick-and-brutal—my favorite way to play.
Wow. What'd he do to deserve that? Rescue orphans from a burning building? If so, you might want to make sure he didn't set the building on fire in the first place.
I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping?
That's your truck parked up by the factory isn't it?" Magnus pointed. "It's awfully butch for a bookseller.
And while my mind is telling me I'm flirting with her just to prove a point, my body wants to play "you show me your perky privates and I'll show you mine.
The Friday before winter break, my mom packed me an overnight bag and a few deadly weapons and took me to a new boarding school.
This isn't a Christmas special! This is my life. In the real world, miracles and goodness just don't happen.
...you don't care because you're all that and I'm just an artery in a dress.
It's so trendy, almost bleeding to death. All the cool girls are doing it.
The uniform enhanced his athletic body, and my thoughts drifted to how magnificent he would look with his uniform puddled around his feet.
I hate you' she said to me one afternoon. 'I really, really hate you.' Call me sensitive, but I couldn't help but take it personally.
I have no doubt that you are more than capable of bringing the Monsean queen and my son and the rest of my sons and a hundred Nanderan kittens through an onslaught of howling raiders if you chose to.
I hate witches. Humans had the right idea, burning them at the stake.
Kate's Speciality: Killing things, with much bloodshed. Talking trash, infuriating authority. Driving Beast Lord crazy.
If anything attacked us, we could just panic at it until it went away.
In the office, Michael sat behind our father’s desk, clicking away at the computer with his right hand, and making notes with his left. Ambidextrous freak.
He said "cool" like I say a Spanish word when I'm not sure of the pronunciation.
