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Funny Advice Quotes

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Funny Advice Quotes: "Always drink upstream from the herd."

Always drink upstream from the herd.



Funny Advice Quotes: "Whatever advice you give, be short."

Whatever advice you give, be short.




Funny Advice Quotes: "If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me."

If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.



Funny Advice Quotes: "In matters of religion and matrimony I never give any advice; because I will not have anybody's torments in this world or the next laid to my charge."

In matters of religion and matrimony I never give any advice; because I will not have anybody's torments in this world or the next laid to my charge.




Funny Advice Quotes: "I sometimes give myself admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it."

I sometimes give myself admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it.



Funny Advice Quotes: "Don't go to the circus."

Don't go to the circus.



Funny Advice Quotes: "And my piece of advice is...don't flirt with any of the female instructors. They all have access to weapons bigger than yours."

And my piece of advice is...don't flirt with any of the female instructors. They all have access to weapons bigger than yours.




Funny Advice Quotes: "There are all sorts of books offering advice on how to deal with life-threatening situations, but where's the advice on dealing with embarrassing ones?"

There are all sorts of books offering advice on how to deal with life-threatening situations, but where's the advice on dealing with embarrassing ones?



Funny Advice Quotes: "Never miss a good chance to shut up."

Never miss a good chance to shut up.



Funny Advice Quotes: "It’s funny how much easier it is to see others’ shortcomings and give advice when you’re not personally involved, for it’s almost impossible to see the light when you’re swimming in shit."

It’s funny how much easier it is to see others’ shortcomings and give advice when you’re not personally involved, for it’s almost impossible to see the light when you’re swimming in shit.



Funny Advice Quotes: "I may not always be right, but when I am, I admit it"

I may not always be right, but when I am, I admit it



Funny Advice Quotes: "Oliver has stated many times his dislike of hearing advice from his younger sister, so it is his own fault if he has not got sense enough to see which way the wind is blowing."

Oliver has stated many times his dislike of hearing advice from his younger sister, so it is his own fault if he has not got sense enough to see which way the wind is blowing.




Funny Advice Quotes: "Why waste the space on a stack of half-read books and periodicals, when you could turn your nightstand into a tactical toolbox?"

Why waste the space on a stack of half-read books and periodicals, when you could turn your nightstand into a tactical toolbox?