Robert Orben Quotes

I value people with a conscience. It's like a beeper from God.

I'd be surprised if Ronald Reagan doesn't run again. To us it's a second term. To him it's a double feature.

Economists can certainly disappoint you. One said that the economy would turn up by the last quarter. Well, I'm down to mine and it hasn't.

As much as we admire all the characteristics of a Ronald Reagan, as soon as something goes wrong, people will hate those same characteristics.

Nowadays, you cannot be a very Effective political figure without Having a demonstrable sense of humor. People take to it.

You wouldn't want Alan Greenspan to write the instructions for assembling a beach chair.

Realists know where they're going. Dreamers have already been there.

THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.

Time flies. It’s up to you to be the navigator.

Most people want to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that "individuality" is the key to success.

I may be forty but every morning when I get up I feel like a twenty-year-old. Unfortunately there's never one around.

New Yorkers are so impersonal if it wasn't for muggings there wouldn't be any contact at all!

I take my children everywhere but they always find their way back home.

We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally I've never met a family adviser. They're all off somewhere listening to dirty stories.

I don't want to say anything about my kids . . . but I go to PTA meetings under an assumed name!

Have you noticed when you go on a diet the first thing you lose is your temper.

"Wait'll next year!" is the favorite cry of baseball fans football fans hockey fans and gardeners.

Cheap? If he was at the Last Supper he would have asked for separate checks!

Planned obsolescence isn't a new idea - God always used it with people.

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there I go to work.

I don't see why religion and science can't get along. What's wrong with counting our blessings with a computer?

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

Quit worrying about your health. It will go away.