Quentin Crisp Quotes
There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.
Ask yourself, if there was to be no blame, and if there was to be no praise, who would I be then?
One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer than a weekend.
It's a strange situation, but people will pay your fare to get you to go and tell them how to be happy.
When asked to give advice, I do of course give it, because I give whatever I am asked to give.
Other-cheekism is not only a way of purifying the soul, it is also part of every weak person's survival kit.
I don't hold with abroad and think that foreigners speak English when our backs are turned.
The idea that He would take his attention away from the universe in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds is just so unlikely I can't go along with it.
Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.
Nothing more rapidly inclines a person to go into a monastery than reading a book on etiquette. There are so many trivial ways in which it is possible to commit some social sin.
I am asked how to remain young, and I say 'Never, never work.' And that, of course, is the secret of it.
You should make no effort to try to join society, stay right where you are. Give your name and serial number and wait for society to come to you.
I am told that you regret not what you did but what you didn't do; and so that's why I do everything, so as not to have any regrets.
Decency must be an even more exhausting state to maintain than its opposite. Those who succeed seem to need a stupefying amount of sleep.
I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum.
Vice is its own reward. It is virtue which, if it is to be marketed with consumer appeal, must carry Green Shield stamps.
A gentleman doesn't pounce he glides. If a woman sits on a piece of furniture which permits your sitting beside her, you are free to regard this as an invitation, though not an unequivocal one.
Why get married? For human beings, marriage is such an unnatural state. If you want monogamy, it has been said, you should marry a swan.
The trouble with European cities is that they are drenched in their history, almost all of which is terrible.
I was amazed to receive later a substantial sum for sitting in my room and talking about myself. If only I could get some of the back pay!
Whenever we confront an unbridled desire we are surely in the presence of a tragedy-in-the-making.
Even a monotonously undeviating path of self-examination does not necessarily lead to self-knowledge. I stumble towards my grave confused and hurt and hungry.
That's the only sense in which I've been lucky: I have the kind of face to which cosmetics could be applied.
Even hooligans marry, though they know that marriage is for a little while. It is alimony that is for ever.
In England, the system is benign and the people are hostile. In America, the people are friendlyand the system is brutal!
Assoon as I stepped out of my mother's womb on to dry land, I realized that I had made a mistake?but the trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
Abatement in the hostility of one's enemies must never be thought to signify they have been won over. It only means that one has ceased to constitute a threat.
In fact I try to spend at least one, if not two days without ever leaving my room. Because if I didn't, when would I recharge my batteries?
The distinction between indoors and outdoors, which in England is usually so marked, was temporarily suspended in a hot gauzy haze.
