Marshall B. Rosenberg Quotes

The more we talk about the past, the less we heal from it.

Be very slow to go into looking for solutions.

Fix-it jackals can't wait to fix it, because they don't know how to enjoy pain. And until you learn how to enjoy pain, you can't enjoy intimacy.

Two things distinguish nonviolent actions from violent actions. First, you don't see an enemy and second, your intention is not to make the other side suffer.

Never do anything that isn't play.

With empathy, I'm fully with them, not full of them — that's sympathy.

Analyses of others are actually expressions of our own needs and values

As long as I think I 'should' do it, I'll resist it, even if I want very much to do it.

In a Giraffe institution, the head nurse job would be to serve the nurses, not to control them. Teachers are there to serve the students, not control them.

When I recognize I've got anger, then I realize it's because I have a need that's not being met.

When we are angry, killing people is too superficial.

Enemy images are the main reason conflicts don't get resolved.

Understanding and connection can transcend conflict.

Anger can be a wonderful wake up call to help you understand what you need and what you value.

We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves.

Remember that whatever anyone does, it is an effort to meet a need.

How I choose to look at any situation will greatly affect whether I have the power to change it or make matters worse.

To be able to hear our own feelings and needs and to empathize with them can free us from depression.

NVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying conditions.

NVC self-forgiveness: connecting with the need we were trying to meet when we took the action that we now regret.

What bores the listener bores the speaker too.

Unless we as social change agents come from a certain spirituality, we're likely to create more harm than good.

Once you have access to key people in an organization, if you go into a meeting with enemy images of those people - then you are not going to connect.

Nonviolent Communication shows us a way of being very honest, but without any criticism, without any insults, without any put-downs, without any intellectual diagnosis implying wrongness.

Getting in touch with unmet needs is important to the healing process.

It's really a spiritual practice that I am trying to show as a way of life.

When people hear needs, it provokes compassion.

I have tried to integrate the spirituality into the training in a way that meets my need not to destroy the beauty of it through abstract philosophizing.

An important aspect of self-compassion is to be able to empathically hold both parts of ourselves-the self that regrets a past action and the self that took the action in the first place.

The most important use of NVC may be in developing self-compassion.

Our survival as a species depends on our ability to recognize that our well-being and the well-being of others are in fact one and the same.

Upset? Ask yourself what this person does that is a trigger for judging them?

It may be most difficult to empathize with those we are closest to.

In NVC, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests.

NO is always a YES to something else.

Interpretations, criticisms, diagnoses, and judgments of others are actually alienated expressions of our unmet needs.

Don't get addicted to your requests. Your objective is needs, not requests. Because then it becomes a demand.

Translate all self-judgments into self-empathy.

NVC requires us to be continually conscious of the beauty within ourselves and other people.

The cause of anger lies in our thinking - in thoughts of blame and judgment.

Let’s shine the light of consciousness on places where we can hope to find what we are seeking.

When we are in contact with our feelings and needs, we humans no longer make good slaves and underlings.

The more we use words that in any way imply criticism, the more difficult it is for people to stay connected to the beauty within themselves.

Empathizing with someone's 'no' protects us from taking it personally.

Our goal is to create a quality of empathic connection that allows everyone's needs to be met.

The number one rule of our training is empathy before education.

Use the words "I feel because I" to remind us that what we feel it isn't because of what the other person did, but because of a choice I've made.

Social change involves helping people see new options for making life wonderful that are less costly to get needs met.

A difficult message to hear is an opportunity to enrich someone's life.

We need empathy to give empathy.