Laurence J. Peter Quotes

America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there.

The man who believes he can do it is probably right, and so is the man who believes he can't.

Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

The advantage of modern means of communication is they enable you to worry about things in all of the world

Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

We hate to have some people give us advice because we know how badly they need it themselves.

Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work.

Few of us ever test our powers of deduction, except when filling out an income tax form

The problem with temptation is that you may not get another chance.

When I want your opinion I'll give it to you.

Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.

The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.

In most hierarchies, supercompetence is more objectionable than incompetence.

Reality is for people who can't face drugs.

Two things reduce prejudice: education and laughter.

Don't knock the rich. When did a poor person give you a job?

Middle age is when you stop criticizing the older generation and start criticizing the younger one.

I inherited my ability from both parents; my mother's ability for spending money, and my father's ability for not earning it.

Men now monopolize the upper levels... depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.

A lawyer is a man who helps you get what is coming to him.

The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it.

In the country of the blind, the one-eyed king can still goof up.

A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.

My problem is I say what I'm thinking before I think what I'm saying.

Before publishers' blurbs were invented, authors had to make their reputations by writing.

Middle age is when anything new in the way you feel is most likely a symptom.

He laughs best whose laugh lasts.

Political success is the ability, when the inevitable occurs, to get credit for it.

You shouldn't punish others for your own choices.

A bore is a person who lights up the room simply by leaving it.

A rut is a grave with the ends knocked out.

A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street.

Two can live as cheaply as one - if they both have good jobs.

It is wise to remember that you are one of those who can be fooled some of the time.

May your happiest days of the past be your saddest days of your future.

A free press is one that prints a dictator's speech but doesn't have to.

You don't need to take a persons advice to make him feel good, just ask him for it.

do it now. There may be a law against it tomorrow.

Everyone is in awe of the lion tamer in a cage with half a dozen lions-everyone but a school bus driver.

There are some men who in a fifty-fifty proposition insist on getting the hyphen too.

Give a child enough rope and he will trip you up.

Ignorance is the mother of research.

The man who is always waving the flag usually waives what it stands for.

Bore : A fellow who can change the subject back to his topic of conversation faster than you can change it back to yours.

The cave-dweller's wife complained that he hadn't dragged her anywhere in months.

Only mediocrities rise to the top in a system that won't tolerate wave making.

Fools rush in where wise men fear to trade.

The unexpected always happens.