Kinky Friedman Quotes

If you're going to be an artist, you need to be an original.

The art of writing fiction is to sail as dangerously close to the truth as possible without sinking the ship

I'm ready for anything. That's probably why it never happens.

The distance between the limousine and the gutter is a short one.

If Raymond Chandler came from the South, his name would be Ace Atkins.

If you ain't Texan, I ain't got time for you.

I've achieved many of my dreams, and I want to see that some others get a chance to, especially younger Texans.

I'm not for the parties. I'm for Texas.

People are drooling for the truth. They want honesty from politicians, and they're not getting it.

The good teachers are bailing out. Education is very important.... This should be the centerpiece on the table of Texas.

I want to fight the wussification of the State of Texas. I want to rise and shine and bring back the glory.

There will be a whole new spirit blowing through Texas. There will be a smile on everybody's face and a chill up the spine of every politician.

Simón Bolívar is the only person in history to be exiled from a country named after him.

When I'm governor... I'll be the first governor with a listed telephone number.

When you record something, you never know who's going to hear it.

I want to see a Jew in the White house.

Always beware of people offering you one-time money. That only works in an election year. How are you going to permanently pay for education?

I don't see how the people who created the problem can fix it. Texas is worth fighting for, and the best way to fight is to get the politicians out of politics.

Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test.

I want to be governor [of Texas] because I need the closet space.

If you gotta kill two birds, might as well get stoned.

He looked a shade too healthy and nobody likes that. Particularly in New York.

I don't apologize to people who try to intimidate.

It wasn't a healthy attitude, but it wasn't really a healthy world.

I see an issue I like, and I support it.

I'm not pro-life, and I'm not pro-choice. I'm pro-football.

Remember, the Legislature is the joke, not our campaign.

Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart. And both of them were independents, by the way.

They probably would've taken Jesus if he hadn't been nailed down.

I believe that voices like Ross Perot, Pat Buchanan, Ralph Nader should be heard. They don't have to be president. Give 'em a chance.

We're going to make that Lone Star shine again.

My goal as a young man, to be fat, famous and financially fixed by 50.

The best fiction is true.

Regaring Politics: You’ve got your cats on one side and your dogs on the other